Under the cold rain of december

I'm walking in the dark. There is nothing in my pockets. I lost the count of time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know who I am, I don't know where I belong and where am I going to.
There was a time, when I used to smile, to think everything was perfect. I was happy.
What happened then? I lost him, my first true love. The love was over, he used to say. The tears went down my face, I was so frustrated. I thought it was my fault, even if he said it wasn't, he just finded another girl. Prettier, funnier and nicer.
Little to little I started to lose everything else. I lost what I was most scared of losing; the people I love.
I lost them, my friends thought I changed, that I wasn't the same happy girl I used to be.
I started to get apart of my family, I thought they will never understand me.


There I was, alone, walking in the dark, under the cold rain of december.

Darte cuenta de que has crecido cuando puedes dormir la noche de reyes.
Los años pasan, y tu creces. Cada día un poco mas.
Pasas de jugar con muñecas a ir de fiesta. De beber batidos de chocolate, a tomar copas cargadas de vodka. De enfadarte con tus padres por fumar, a pillar cada semana 10 euros de marihuana.
 La ilusión de los niños esta cambiando. Las nuevas generaciones ya no son las de antes, ahora necesitan lo mejor, lo último, el top trending.
Necesitan creerse poderosos, cuando nosotros solo encestábamos ser felices.
Jugar con nuestros tazos, cambiar cromos, y correr por ver quien era el portero de cada equipo de fútbol.

Another day, going outside, waiting for the bus.
Is not even 7 am and you are ready to go back to your bed, under the blankets, and forget everythig.

Forget how many times I said an empty "I love you", when I didn't feel it, cause there is nothing else...

I said you "I will wait you forever, this year doesnt mean that we are not together anymore. It means that our love is going to be stronger, that Im going to love you over everything, over the rainbow"
but now i don't feel any of that, and you know why? Because none of us care, not anymore.

I don't need to talk with you like i used to do, everyday, every morning, every night before going to sleep.
Because there have been too much lies, too much broken promises, to many moments where I will say you, "fuck off, this is over"

Cause when you where with your friends, having fun, getting high. I was here, worring about you, thinking that the worse can happend, but i trust you, I told you thousands of times.

One mistake, and everything is over. I made one mistake, and your trust on me is over.
I don't to go anywhere, i don't want to go to parties, just because i don't want to listen again "Be careful, we know what happend last time"
And I just want to scream you, "fuck off! You are the one that cheat me, and here I am, saying I trust you more than anythig"
I didn't cheat, you, im the one that has been cheated. And here I am.

And now i don't need you, there is someone doing what you where doing a couple of months ago. Taking care of me, treating me how I deserve, and being fucking happy.

I'm sorry, but it's over, this time it was your fault.

It's time to shine babe

Horas frente a un papel en blanco, los dias pasan y tu sigues intentado escribir algo.



Estas asustada, tienes miedo a fallar, a no ser capaz de conseguirlo; ser feliz.


Disfrutar de tu año, por que este es tu año, y es el año en el que te vas a comer el mundo.


Triunfaste en un sitio, ahora vas a por otro, mucho mas grande. Por que te lo mereces, te mereces lo mejor.

That moment when everything changed

Tras un año de cambios. Volver a casa no fue fácil. Estaba que no me podía estar quieta, por el simple echo de saber que le iba a ver. A esa persona que me hizo tan feliz, pero que también me hizo llorar.
Al verle el corazón se me paró. Pero sabía que lo que una vez fue una historia de amor, con posible final feliz. Ahora iba a ser una espiral de sentimientos, nuevos y antiguos. Se iban a juntar, a mezclar y a crear una mezcla un tanto explosiva. Esa mezcla explotó y todos se vieron afectados.
Todos se recuperaron de esa explosión, aunque yo me quedé con secuelas.
Y ahora llegas tu, después de haber superado las secuelas de la explosión, y me rompes los esquemas.  

I just want to quit.
To say, "it´s enough" and go back to the place I used to call home.

I got something and I let it go.
I when I got it bak, I lost it again.
When I thought I had it back, and freaking bad idea made me lose it again.

My clothes smells like him, my hair keeps being messy because of him and my heart keeps racing when I remember his lips on my neck.

Maybe writting this shit is the only thing that keeps me alive.
To not go mad or nuts.
To remember who I am, and where am I going.

To realice the mistakes I do again and over again.

I don't have anything left, I lost the first person I loved, I lost the first true friends I had.
They all replace me, they replace me with new people, and now the new one it's me.

No more stories to tell, no more cool stuff happening, only fake smiles like I care about what they are saying, while in the inside I feel like thousands of needles hurting my heart.

Las manillas del reloj siguen pasando. Y yo sigo aquí plantada frente del ordenador intentando escribir lo que parece claro en mi cabeza. 

Momentos de estupidez me hicieron perder a la persona a la que he querido como no he querido nunca.

 Le extraño, le necesito. Extraño saber que a las 9:30 voy a darle los buenos días, a desearle un buen día, que se ría de mi y yo finja estar enfadada porque me trata muy mal. Extraño que me llame marmotilla por dedicar gran parte de mi tiempo a dormir. Extraño esperar que el botoncito de su foto en skype se cambie a verde e intentar arreglar mi pelo rojo en los pocos segundos que tengo hasta que responda a la llamada. Extraño que me de los bueno días con un "buenos días preciosa" 

Extraño oír un te quiero.