Another day, going outside, waiting for the bus.
Is not even 7 am and you are ready to go back to your bed, under the blankets, and forget everythig.

Forget how many times I said an empty "I love you", when I didn't feel it, cause there is nothing else...

I said you "I will wait you forever, this year doesnt mean that we are not together anymore. It means that our love is going to be stronger, that Im going to love you over everything, over the rainbow"
but now i don't feel any of that, and you know why? Because none of us care, not anymore.

I don't need to talk with you like i used to do, everyday, every morning, every night before going to sleep.
Because there have been too much lies, too much broken promises, to many moments where I will say you, "fuck off, this is over"

Cause when you where with your friends, having fun, getting high. I was here, worring about you, thinking that the worse can happend, but i trust you, I told you thousands of times.

One mistake, and everything is over. I made one mistake, and your trust on me is over.
I don't to go anywhere, i don't want to go to parties, just because i don't want to listen again "Be careful, we know what happend last time"
And I just want to scream you, "fuck off! You are the one that cheat me, and here I am, saying I trust you more than anythig"
I didn't cheat, you, im the one that has been cheated. And here I am.

And now i don't need you, there is someone doing what you where doing a couple of months ago. Taking care of me, treating me how I deserve, and being fucking happy.

I'm sorry, but it's over, this time it was your fault.

It's time to shine babe

Horas frente a un papel en blanco, los dias pasan y tu sigues intentado escribir algo.



Estas asustada, tienes miedo a fallar, a no ser capaz de conseguirlo; ser feliz.


Disfrutar de tu año, por que este es tu año, y es el año en el que te vas a comer el mundo.


Triunfaste en un sitio, ahora vas a por otro, mucho mas grande. Por que te lo mereces, te mereces lo mejor.

That moment when everything changed

Tras un año de cambios. Volver a casa no fue fácil. Estaba que no me podía estar quieta, por el simple echo de saber que le iba a ver. A esa persona que me hizo tan feliz, pero que también me hizo llorar.
Al verle el corazón se me paró. Pero sabía que lo que una vez fue una historia de amor, con posible final feliz. Ahora iba a ser una espiral de sentimientos, nuevos y antiguos. Se iban a juntar, a mezclar y a crear una mezcla un tanto explosiva. Esa mezcla explotó y todos se vieron afectados.
Todos se recuperaron de esa explosión, aunque yo me quedé con secuelas.
Y ahora llegas tu, después de haber superado las secuelas de la explosión, y me rompes los esquemas.  

I just want to quit.
To say, "it´s enough" and go back to the place I used to call home.

I got something and I let it go.
I when I got it bak, I lost it again.
When I thought I had it back, and freaking bad idea made me lose it again.

My clothes smells like him, my hair keeps being messy because of him and my heart keeps racing when I remember his lips on my neck.

Maybe writting this shit is the only thing that keeps me alive.
To not go mad or nuts.
To remember who I am, and where am I going.

To realice the mistakes I do again and over again.

I don't have anything left, I lost the first person I loved, I lost the first true friends I had.
They all replace me, they replace me with new people, and now the new one it's me.

No more stories to tell, no more cool stuff happening, only fake smiles like I care about what they are saying, while in the inside I feel like thousands of needles hurting my heart.

Las manillas del reloj siguen pasando. Y yo sigo aquí plantada frente del ordenador intentando escribir lo que parece claro en mi cabeza. 

Momentos de estupidez me hicieron perder a la persona a la que he querido como no he querido nunca.

 Le extraño, le necesito. Extraño saber que a las 9:30 voy a darle los buenos días, a desearle un buen día, que se ría de mi y yo finja estar enfadada porque me trata muy mal. Extraño que me llame marmotilla por dedicar gran parte de mi tiempo a dormir. Extraño esperar que el botoncito de su foto en skype se cambie a verde e intentar arreglar mi pelo rojo en los pocos segundos que tengo hasta que responda a la llamada. Extraño que me de los bueno días con un "buenos días preciosa" 

Extraño oír un te quiero.

dias de madrugada

Ni si quiera ha abierto los ojos, y ya sabe donde esta.

Nota un brazo rodeando su cintura, y sabe que no hay ropa bajo las sabanas.

Aparta su brazo, y sale de la cama. Recupera su ropa, se mira en el espejo, y ve lo que ve cada noche que sale de fiesta.

Una joven desaliñada, con oscuras ojeras y un largo día por delante.

Desde hace tiempo que su vida es así.

Salir de fiesta todas las noches, y acabar en la cama de alguien.

Por que vive así? Porque la rompieron el corazón. 

El hombre del que estaba enamorada, fueron meses de felicidad, de sonreír.

Pero luego todo se torció, ya no había cariño, ni si quiera palabras dulces. Todo eran broncas, malos ratos y arreglarlo bajo las sabanas.

Pero eso se acabo, ella ya no era la misma. Su única manera de disfrutar es salir de fiesta, sentarse en la barra con su mejor vestido, esperar a que la inviten a una copa, bailar, tomarse otra copa y hacer como que no sabe que están poniendo algo en su copa.

Meterse alguna que otra ralla en el baño, y despertase en la cama de otro hombre, vestirse y seguir.

Where Dreams Begin

I am sitting on a high branch of my favorite place on earth.
Its getting dark, but I am still able to see a lot from this place.
You can hear the sound of the crickets somewhere in the dark, the birds singing to the end of the day, the flow of the water going downhill, horns of stressed drivers wishing to get home soon and far away voices of kids beging to stay longer playing with their friends.
It is the middle of February; the trees are still missing their leaves. The rabbits are getting ready to wake up. The sunbeams try to make the last hours of the afternoon warmer.
You can feel the humidity of this place, the clouds getting ready to pour. Spring is definitely coming, brought in on the winds of days of rain. Days of staying home, wishing to return to this place, to my tree.

When times are at their worst, I take my bike, put my headphones on, put my favorites playlist, "No More Tears" and "Keep Calm and Carry On" on the highest volume, and disconnect from the world. I ride, through the forest, ride, ride and ride. When my breath is too fast to continue, i sit down, hold my breath and wait for the pain to stop. Strange, how that is, when the tears start going down my face, I can breath normally again. I turn the volume even louder, A Day to Remember screaming in my ears; making me forget about everything, nothing is in my mind, I just listen to the lyrics, following the rhythm with my head, hands and feet, no more until I stop crying with no choice but to listen. When the tears are gone, I stop my music, take my headphones off, and listen to what is left- listen to the crickets.
That's how I found the tree. I climbed it the very first time I saw it, climbing higher until the branches started to crack. I stayed. I sat right where I was, and viewed the landscape, while "Cuando el sol se va" played. I was there, until the perfect sunset, a sunset that gave me hope, and strength to continue fighting no matter what life throws my way.
When it's completely dark and cold, I return home. The only thing that is on my mind, is that sunset, I am feeling stronger, happier and with more desire than ever to keep fighting. And for the first time in a long time; I smiled.